Sorry but I have plans....

....what is it with guys that "have plans" ??? In my experience it means sorry, but I'm going out with someone else tonight. Count-down to Seychelles is coming fast. So just before Christmas, sexy guy says to me, "I'll be there Jan 29th, and I'll see you then." Book ticket. After Christmas, sexy guy says "Guess I'll be there a day before you." Re-book ticket. Sexy guy then says "I have plans for the 28th so I'll see you on the 29th at our hotel." WTF. Now I have a long-haul flight and when I get there I have to look for a taxi and spend the night in our hotel by myself????? How can he have plans!!!! I thought I was the plan!!! Sometimes, u gotta hate guys & their plans.

"We could have shared a room"

So I decide I want to go on a 3 day course out of town, merely to get a paid holiday at company expense. I mean, who really wants to know "How the Government Works"? Lobby Mr. H., who agrees the company could shell out vast sums of money for me to attend this. Except by the time I get around to registering, the bloody course is full. Who would have thought it? I'm sure the fact it is being held next to a major high-end shopping centre in the capital city has nothing to do with it. Have to tell Mr. H. that I'm not registered. "I'm there at the same time," he says "we could have shared a room and saved the company some money......."

A Blonde Moment

OMG. I can't believe I did this. Thinking of 17 sleeps to Seychelles, I was definitely not concentrating on job in hand. Mr. H., being in his office with the door closed, meant that I had to phone him when I wanted a question answered. He comes flying out of his office and says "Is that for me?" "Yes," I say, "It's me". And he goes back in his office and picks up the phone and I start to talk to him. Well his phone goes crashing down and back he comes out and stands in the doorway. "So, if I came to see you to see who was on the phone, and it was you, couldn't you have hung up and talked to me in person?"

Fashion Week - Not

Lousy snow. Horrible rain. I've had to dress "appropriately" for the weather which means I've left the house looking like Grandma in the Giles' cartoons. I had to slink into the office hoping Mr. H. didn't see me in my outerwear. A colleague did mutter "Those boots really work" but I don't think he was being kind.

When I got off the bus one day after work and trying to work out why I was so cold, I looked down at my coat only to discover I had buttoned the darn thing up wrong. Now bear in mind I'd left my office like that, walked 20 minutes through the throngs and rode the bus home before noticing, it fell into place why I'd been lucky enough to be offered a seat. I'd been mistaken for a vagrant. I shouted after the bus "But I sometimes travel in helicopters!!!" but I think this only convinced everyone not only was I a vagrant, but that I was a delusional vagrant.......

I need a what injection?

Typhoid, apparently. Well, should come in useful when I ride to work on the bus. I mean, does it give you typhoid? Can I now get on the bus and announce that I have typhoid? It would increase my chances of getting a seat providing I didn't get knocked over in the mass exit I suppose....

26 Sleeps to Seychelles

Found the perfect bikini, one that covers those annoying bulges. Celebrated by going to café & eating large slice of cake with a latte........

Resolutions - 2

Well that was a record - broke all 3 resolutions within 30 minutes of getting back to work. But I can explain.....

Mr. H. hands me a stack of confidential photocopying, which means I cannot delegate this to the office junior. On passing desk of said office junior, notice she looks a little worse for wear. Now it is not that I'm jealous because she obviously went on a bender this New Year's and I didn't, but sarcastic comment slips out before I can stop it. "Need a junior aspirin do we?" The photocopier, obviously harbouring resentment at being awoken from its Christmas break slumber, proceeds to eat the first piece of paper. Doing its best imitation of the office Christmas tree, every light on the darn thing starts to blink. "WTF. *!$+*&^@ photocopier." Kneel down to poke around in paper trays intentionally designed so we will kneel at God of Photocopier. Horror of horrors, button pops off new white shirt. And in walks Mr. H. I'm not sure he was quite prepared to be confronted by his manic EA, kneeling on floor, best push up bra finally exposed......

Resolutions

1. I will not be sarcastic to lesser mortals
2. I will not wear low cut t-shirt & bend over in front of Mr. H.
3. I will not swear at photocopier